When “I love you” Wrecks You


In a world obsessed with love, or the idea of love, we somehow are still uncomfortable when someone looks us dead in the eye and says confidently, “I LOVE YOU.” That simple phrase either shakes us or desensitizes us, often leading us to a place where we can’t always remember what those words even mean.

“love ya”

How many times do we say that phrase so habitually to the people we are supposed to love the most? Maybe it has become a day-to-day habit in which you find yourself accidentally saying it to random people when you are getting off the phone or leaving a room. There is something so scary, awakening, and wall-crushing that exists within the sincere words, “I. Love. You.”

I started a job a little over a year ago where I was going home discouraged and frustrated at one of my managers. I didn’t understand why she had to be so rigid in her responses and intense in her mannerisms. I would feel defeated after working with her some days, and began to want to leave because of it.

One night, I was talking to my husband about how I was feeling and then God just hit me with the question, “Why don’t you start telling her you love her?”

Um. What? Tell someone that I don’t like, that I love them?

Well that night I committed to myself and God that I would tell her every time I saw her that I loved her. I would say it sincerely, and look at her without hesitation. So I did.

I remember the first time I told her, “I love you.” She was really uncomfortable and just told me to have a good night. She was awkward every time I said it for a couple weeks, but each and every time, I saw it soak into her heart and mine more and more. I began to love her and see her in a new light, appreciate her quirks, and even like her!! Then… she said it.

I know it all sounds like a silly, sappy love story. Guess what? It is and I think this is what it’s supposed to be like with everybody. Exciting, encouraging, and life-giving love should fill us every time we say the words, “I love you.”

She said it. She told me she loved me one day, saying it so nonchalantly and just as cheery as I delivered those words to her that it almost stopped me in my tracks. Don’t worry, I kept my cool. 😉

I ran into my house to tell my husband that she said “I love you” back and a smile spread across his face as he knew what I had been doing. It hit me that day just how life-changing those words can be, especially when we don’t only say them in a romantic way.

“I. love. YOU.” AH those words, that phrase!!

I dare you, yeah, I dare YOU to begin saying those words to the people that you don’t like very much, the people you struggle with in your heart, and the people that you love the most. Embrace the phrase, and the phrase will embrace you. Speak it over people, and let it be spoken over you.

Maybe it is awkward at first, maybe people start avoiding you because of it, but don’t let that bring you down! God loves us at our messiest, best, and even when we don’t love Him. May the love we give be unconditional, life-altering, and life-breathing.

Oh, and before I forget (I didn’t), I LOVE YOU.

One thought on “When “I love you” Wrecks You

  1. Thank you for this inspirational message. I tell people I love them, but the ones that I have a hard time loving, I start out with forgiveness, forgiving them for how they made me feel and forgiving myself. I love the idea about telling them I love them. Jesus loved us so much that he died on the cross to forgive our sins. I realized from your entry that I don’t need to do just one, I can love and forgive at the same time. I love you for opening my eyes. Love and hugs!


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