To anyone who has been hurt by Christianity,
I am sorry. I am sorry for the way the “church” has hurt you. I am sorry for the judgmental remarks, opinionated voices, and never-ending hypocrisy.
Many of us “Christians” today have misused the term and have made it out to be what we want it to be. We struggle to truly represent Christ, to understand what it means. We struggle to be honest with the mess of our own lives, the darkness behind the closed doors. We try to make our lives look put together, like somehow that will make Jesus look more attractive to you. We do this out of pride and fear of the reality that maybe who we are is a misrepresentation of Christ, yet we misrepresent Him by putting on this dreadful mask.
I think most of us hate the mask. We feel trapped my the mask. The mask sometimes makes us doubt everything we have ever done or said.
I’m sorry for all of the sales pitches you have heard, our efforts to define the grey areas of the Bible, and the separation that exists within us all due to our inability to let the love of God rule our lives rather than the theology we have come to believe in.
To be honest, we have all hurt each other. Maybe this letter is written to not only people who walked away from the church, but the people within it at this very moment. This letter is to the people who struggle to get out of bed on Sunday morning because they fear facing the reality that they don’t feel a part of this “community” they so deeply crave. This letter is to the people who feel the need to hide their mistakes in a box, because whenever they try to unpack it, they get interrupted by judgmental hearts.
Jesus loved fiercely, gently, and humbly. He poured grace upon those who wept at His feet. He laid hands on the broken hearts and souls that everyone gave up on.
I admit, I fail at this calling of love often. My own opinions, political beliefs, and life experiences hinder me from the freedom of giving and receiving the love of Christ.
I think most of us struggle to give that love to you, because we can’t accept it for ourselves. We are handicapped by our own mistakes, our own boxes, and the judgmental stares we receive.
I crave to love deeper, give grace freely, and dream bigger. I crave to share the one true Gospel, not only with my words, but with the story I tell with my own life. I crave to listen to you without comparing myself to you. I crave to be loved by and to love you.
I am sorry that Christianity may have left a sour taste in your mouth. I am sorry for not always living the life I preached to you. I am sorry if you have been pushed down by someone in the name of Jesus.
It is not God’s fault that we misuse His name, judge you in His name, and fail to meet your needs. It is ours.
I confess I have had doubts, fears, and questions about God. You are not alone.
You are loved perfectly by Jesus. May I be a safe place where you can be honest. May I offer hope, words filled with life, and love with no strings attached. May I have no hidden agenda. May you feel safe with me.
I think we all fear loneliness. I know we all crave togetherness. I believe we all want a friend.
Will you forgive me?
An imperfect Christ-follower